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Archive: Workshop your Elevator Pitch
Posted by doug on October 27, 2017 at 8:41 amHere is my starting point with the elevator pitch. have always thought it is a great idea but never worked on one till now. Interested in your thoughts.
Doug Freeman
Elevator PitchMy work is about making a reason to go to the town square or the park – a touch stone and a meeting place.
I make sculpture out of bronze that gives form to the local familiar or the spirit that energizes a place. Like The Lion’s Fountain in LA or The Seven Lucky Gods in Tokyo.
Fountains that make people want to play.
doug replied 7 years, 10 months ago 32 Members · 131 Replies -
131 Replies
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I so like the ring of this Doug. Your word sculpture has me intrigued and knowing at the same time. A lovely balance that has me comfortably curious.
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Deleted User
Deleted UserNovember 3, 2017 at 12:55 amYO.. There is something really calming about fountains.
It is a goo d word as well as in the ‘fountain of youth’ so I get your playful scenario.
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I am a landscape painter, passionate about exposing the mystery in an ordinary day.
Terrill Welch
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I really like this Terrill, it’s simple and not ‘artsty’ speak so great for everyone interested in art from any angle. While simple I think I would feel intrigued, well no I do feel intrigued, to ask more or to look you up and see how you present that mystery.
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Deleted User
Deleted UserNovember 4, 2017 at 12:42 pmHi Terrill..should it not read ordinary “way”?
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I do like your pitch but I’m not sure about the word “exposing” – having viewed your work, I don’t feel a resonance with this particular word…it almost feels too harsh or glaring. It feels more like your work is an invitation to bear witness to the mystery of everyday life, to elevate those moment and not “expose” them (and of course, this could just simply be my own subjective bias with the connotations this word conjures of say a person exposing themselves!)
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Hi Terrill,
A simple, clear and inviting pitch. It works for me!
Beverley
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Terrill
Very nice ; “exposing the mystery in an ordinary day”
Doug
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Terrill,
I really like your phrase – exposing the mystery in an ordinary day
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Hello,
Here is my elevator pitch…
“I work in clay and found objects to create OOAK shrines & shadow boxes filled with misfits, saints, jokers & fools” Does that sound intriguing? I want people to be curious enough to ask me questions about my work so I am trying to create a sentence that may open up a bit of back and forth dialogue.-
Hi Michelle,
This pitch is intriguing and I like it, but think I’d cut the OOAK – it sounds like jargon and will make the pitch more difficult to say in your 30 seconds in the elevator.
Best wishes,
Beverley
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I agree with Beverly – this pitch is awesome with the omission of your acronym and it elicits curiosity beautifully!!!
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Hi Michelle,
Had me intrigued enough to look for your work on a website – I can’t find one though?!
Best wishes,
Mark
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Pitch:
I paint symbols of strength, beauty, and diversity. My work is described as empowering, blissful, a smooth groove of neo-soul.
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TaLisa,
I think you have something ; “a smooth groove of neo-soul” sounds good and seems to invite a reply.
Doug
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ditto on “smooth groove of neo-soul”– fun descriptor.
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Here’s a quick first attempt at the elevator pitch:
My landscapes come from a deep desire to take the viewer to places they haven’t been, but would love to go to.
Mark Wallace
Terrill, your comment on exposing the mystery from the ordinary really strikes a cord
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Nice pitch, Mark. It would definitely invite me to ask questions.
Beverley
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Mark,
I agree, it is simple to say, sounds like ordinary speaking language and sounds interesting.
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Here’s my attempt at an elevator pitch:
My work’s about colour and texture on surfaces weathered by the passage of time. Through photos and and paintings I hope to share my delight in the small details of the visual world.
(Am wondering whether I need both sentences? If only one, the first or the second?)
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Beverley
I like the idea of one sentence that invites a question from the listener.
Doug
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Deleted User
Deleted UserNovember 3, 2017 at 1:16 amI am fully in agreement with Beverly
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Beverly, I think the first sentence is great and a conversation would naturally lead to the expression of the salient points of your second sentence.
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Hi Beverley – I think the first sentence could stand alone.
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Beverley, I like it. I would move the “through photos and paintings” to the end of the second sentence, and remove the tentativeness. You do share your delight : )
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Beverly,
I feel the first sentence works well on its own.
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To Beverly- if going for one sentence, a suggestion:
My photos and paintings depict the dance of colour and texture on surfaces weathered by time.
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Hi Doug,
From what you’ve submitted, I like:
“I make sculpture out of bronze that gives form to the spirit that energises a place.”
This may not give the full picture, but I think its mysteriousness would invite questions.
Best wishes,
Beverley
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Hi Beverley
I particularly like your first line it makes me want to look at your work to see what that visual description actually looks like
best wishes
Mark
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Thanks everyone for the feedback! I seem to be limited to the general reply option on my iPad so sorry for not being able to respond individually. I have been meaning to log in from my laptop to see if that makes a difference but haven’t had a chance yet.
Mark, I am drawn to what you are doing as well. There is so much power in noticing what is right in front of us.
I really, really enjoy all of the elevator speeches. I almost tingle with curiosity Mark, Beverly, Doug, TaLisa and Michelle. Just what I think we want. 😉
Michelle, I had to look up OOAK to figure out what you meant. Then I felt kind of silly – like in, “of course!” But I am not sure this is what you want your reader to do if this statement was written instead of said orally. So I second Beverly’s suggestion. I think the rest works well and you have my attention without the reference to one of a kind. This could be a nice second information piece of information once you have your audience hooked and asking questions.
I hope everyone is having as much fun with this as I am!
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I have to say that I am finding this one hard…difficult to tie all the threads together – so here’s my first attempt…
My art connects the past to the present in poetic ways that can lead to healing and change.
Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks so much.
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I wonder if now is the time to pull out your psychoanalyst background and start by saying…As both a psychoanalyst and artist I am connecting the past and the present through symbol that can lead to healing and change.
It is just a thought but that beginning would sure get me interested!
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Deleted User
Deleted UserNovember 3, 2017 at 1:18 amI agree with Michal on this one. Spot on!
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Could you add in just a word or two what medium you use to do this? I’m intrigued and I love the rest of what you have written but I was wondering (without cheating and looking you up) how you do it 🙂
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I must be really behind in time zones. I could see all your elevator pitches going up but my masterclass wasn’t available until today!
For my work in progress:
“My current work combines the theory/notion of celebrity with the iconography of the saints on hand-made altar pieces.”
(I was playing with whether to use the work theory or notion)
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Deleted User
Deleted UserNovember 3, 2017 at 1:13 amHow about leave out theory/ notion and write ‘idea’ ?
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Deleted User
Deleted UserNovember 3, 2017 at 8:31 pmi’ve always liked the word notion and in your case i think it fits perfectly
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Thanks. I like “notion” better as well. It also feels a bit more fantastical or whimsical than “idea”, which is what I am playing at.
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To Michal:
I am currently working on hand-made alter-pieces which combine the notion of celebrity with the iconagraphy of Saints.
(like “notion”)
Also wanted to say your suggestions to others have been spot on– you are skilled with words and clever at eeking out intended meaning.
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Doug
Really like the first line of your second statement It says everything about your work and makes me want to see it.
Michal
Really think your statement is great and prefer the word notion
Helen,
I agree with Michal, using psychoanalyst in your statement gives it deeper meaning
enjoying this exercise certainly challenging to distill everything into one or two sentences 🙂
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Here’s my pitch:
My oil paintings bring a fleeting magical moment of wildlife in nature to the heart of others.
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Leah, I love the content. The sentence might read more smoothly if you changed the order around:
My oil paintings bring magical moments to the hearts of viewers by capturing a fleeting glimpse of wildlife in nature.
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Deleted User
Deleted UserNovember 3, 2017 at 1:05 amI would suggest rearrange.
My oil paintings bring to the hearts of others….
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