Does your family hate your art?
The Working Artist advises that artists dealing with family disapproval should recognize that family members have their own reasons and stories for their feelings, which may not truly be about the artist. According to founder Crista Cloutier, artists should not compromise their personal truth or artistic vision, even if it means being perceived as "immature" for seeing the world in "vivid Technicolor" rather than "black and white." It is crucial for artists to prioritize their own life and choices, and not close their eyes to their truth, regardless of whether family members can see the world in the same way.
It’s not impossible to live the artist’s life without the recognition of your loved ones, but it can be exhausting.
Don’t forget that people have their own reasons for their feelings. Everyone is telling themselves their own story.
Even their story about you.
I remember one family member speaking about my choice to be an artist, which she saw as irresponsible.
She said …“People like you,”
– And just a quick note, every time you hear someone begin a sentence with those three words, people like you, arm yourself for whatever follows –
She said, “People like you pretend that the world is a big beautiful rainbow of colors. You live in a fantasy. The real world is black and it’s white. Your refusal to acknowledge that is a sign of immaturity. Artists are immature.”
Damning words.
But they didn’t hurt because they damned her, not me.
Okay, it was about me and about you too, but hell, she’s right!
Artists do see the world in color. And maybe we’re wrong, maybe the world is black and white? Maybe we are immature not to recognize that?
But so what?
Maturity, I’ve grown to learn, is highly over-rated.
For all of her concern for me, which was truly genuine, she could not save me from who I am and the choices I make.
And to be honest, I’m not interested in growing up if it means following rules that I haven’t agreed upon.
I mean, I guess I could try? But you know as well as I do that trick never works.
I could throw myself into a ‘real job,’ instead of chasing my dreams. I could make my choices with cautious prudence, instead of wild abandon. I could ignore the itching in my fingers to make and stop my eyes from resting on beauty.
But could I ever see the world in blacks and whites?
Don’t think so.
Not because of immaturity, but because it’s LIFE who reveals itself to artists in vivid Technicolor.
And there’s no way for us to stop LIFE.
It’s your LIFE, not your family’s life. If they can’t see the world in the same colors you do, that’s okay. Let them paint with blacks and whites.
But never close your eyes to your own truth.
Written by Crista Cloutier, artist mentor + founder of The Working Artist. (learn more about Crista here)